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ACCEPTANCE

There comes a point after the struggles that felt infinite where you need to start accepting situations. That doesnt mean they dont hurt anymore, you just simply accept that it hurts. ACCEPTANCE is followed by peace in my experience, even if what you are accepting made you feel like you were being ripped from skin to bone. I've always considered it as having an upperhand on my suffering, refusing to let it control me, forgiving and forgetting is hard for me so ,I simply choose to accept it. I accept the leftovers of love I hold in my heart for people who left, the memories that blind me at night, the loneliness that plagues my heart. many times acceptance has given me the courage to move on ,the reassurance that theres nothing that can be done about certain situations anymore and that at one point I did try. Time passes and the things you have accepted become the things you have forgotten, things that dont control you anymore, things that you have healed from.  It's  funny...
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Getting over it💔

  Getting over it There's a version of me that didn't make it through. I carry her every day, the one with a quiet voice and kind eyes who was certain that softness was always the way.  She saw the good in people, even the ones with darkness on their tongues, convinced if she was patient enough, their damage, too, could be undone. She lived with her heart on her sleeve, feeling the warmth in the coldest of places. Her hand shook and her teeth chattered, yet she continued. the way she never give up, going through things that would have broken someone, responding with just "some bad luck". But the world mistook her kindness for weakness. They filled her voice from the inside of her throat, believing She was something that needed to be tamed. If she could see me now, she'd look at me so confused. All she ever wanted was love. But softness doesn't survive the war. Sometimes she flickers in the way I hesitate, hoping softness will slip from my pen. She sits b...
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FORGIVENESS

 People like to throw forgiveness in our faces like it's just something you wake up with on a random Wednesday, but what they don't tell you is how much peace and love it takes from you to actually forgive someone, it has to come from the most hurt part of your soul to just outlook and accept what happened to you and move on from it ,because forgiveness is accepting. Forgiveness means giving up your anger and the peace of mind that troubly came with not forgiving people or situations, or yourself.  There is just soo much I hate about forgiveness ,we not perfect right ,we make mistakes and it's okay . every mistake we make in this life of sin is a weight on someone's back so when you decide to forgive, it means you are dropping off everything done to you.  Your friend bumped your car on his way to pick up his cheating girlfriend, madly you are being asked to just forgive them and keep the friendship, that time your car is written off or fixed but every other time it'...
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When they ask

 I never know what to say when people ask me about myself. i have never been good at letting someone know me before i have the chance to worry about them knowing me. maybe that is a bad thing. maybe i know that i’m more than they could handle. maybe i know that not many people can appreciate somebody whose peace comes with a sober aftertaste. maybe i don’t know the simple way to tell them that i’m the person who dreams during the day and gets one or two layers thinner at night. sometimes three. have you ever met a person who walks slower next to the man in the wheelchair on the sidewalk because she feels sick to her stomach that she might make him sad? i haven’t—i just know that i am more than what others want to expect of me. that they might look at my heavy face and try to read it like hieroglyphics. and i know that they probably wouldn’t understand.
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Motherhood to me

Nobody ever really talk about how motherhood is,everyone just pushes the beauty of it when half of it is just a lot of fuckeries and long nights of worries ,regrets and stupid suicidal thoughts if not awful mom blues. Everyone wants to say they are in their "mom era" the beautiful baby pictures and cute little hands.the weight behind these beautiful sceneries is heavier than a burden of dating men for who they are.  Goodness, it's a Hood that I personally not wish on anyone who isn't a happy soul naturally like me the Author, because it will crush you! Motherhood to me is: It’s not just about caring a child to full term or pushing a baby out of your cochie or getting 7 layers of your abdomen cut open or the awful contractions that will make you regret giving that man Doggy as a Valentines gift or birthday gift, it’s about changing Worlds from “ my world to Our world “ It’s about being a whole different person .it’s about constantly giving and providing for this new...
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I am the kind of girl:

  I am  the girl who some might call innocent. I am the girl who cares about what others think more than i should. I am  the girl who doesn’t have a ton of friends,, just a few really close ones. I am the girl who trusts people a little too easily.  I am the girl who loves others when they have done nothing to deserve it. I am the girl who overthinks even the littlest of things. I am the girl who tries her best to always see the best in others. I am the girl who gets way too excited over sunsets & stars & the ocean &rainbows. I am the girl who just wants everyone to be happy. I am the girl who loves God with her whole heart. I am the girl who always looks on the bright side.I am the girl who cries if you yell at her.I am the girl who criticizes her body way too much. I am the girl who wants to travel the world. I am the girl who finds joy in the simplest of things.  I am the girl who uses her heart more than her head. I am the girl who just wants som...
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The Part of me

  The part of me: I've made peace with the part of me that suffers without making any noise. The part that secretly breaks on the floor but gathers itself immediately so as to not let people know. The part that never asks for help as it chokes slowly in a crowded room at 1 p.m. in the afternoon. The part that can't stop noticing details. The part that stopped complaining about the scars and happily swallows other people's sufferings. The part of me that hates . The part of me that giggles when ,I can't cry. The part of me that gets excited over small details. The part of me that bleeds everyday. The part of me that loves isolation The part of me that hates me . The one that curiously watches a bucket being filled for my loved ones but not mine. The  part of me  that burns. The part of me that is separated. The part of me that don't forgive others and myself too. The part of me that wants love that I give and not get back . The part of me that cries b...
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